10 years of parenting – wow! Yesterday, my son turned ten. Which means somehow, I’ve been a mom for ten years. I honestly can’t decide if that makes me feel proud or slightly in shock. I know everyone says this, but I literally cannot believe how fast it has gone. So much has changed, and I’m continuing to learn more and more every day.

I want to share 5 lessons I’ve learned in 10 years of parenting. This is not because I have it all figured out, but because these are the truths I keep coming back to.

Lesson 1: Presence matters more than words

The truth is, kids often won’t remember every piece of advice or correction we make. But they will remember moments when you were there. A bedtime conversation is more meaningful than a piece of advice at bedtime. Cheering from the sidelines means more than telling them how to kick the ball. 

Being present has looked different for me in different seasons of life. When I was busy, tired, or distracted, it was harder to be present with my children. Being present does not mean you have to be perfect at. Children don’t need perfect words; they need to know you’re there.

Lesson 2: Be their biggest advocate

I’ve had to advocate for my children on many occasions. In school, I’ve had to be the voice they need to guide their education in a way that makes sense and is best for them. The same in sports. I’ve had to speak up in situations that were uncomfortable to make sure my children were advocated for. 

Most of these situations started as gut instincts. I just felt like I needed to say something and make sure their best interest was spoken for. No one knows your child better than you do. Advocacy doesn’t mean being overprotective. It means being involved, aware, and willing to step in when needed.

Don’t ignore the nudges you feel as a parent. Your child needs you to be their voice sometimes.

Lesson 3: Parent by values, not comparison

Some parents give unlimited screen time, some parents don’t allow any screen time. Some children have an early bedtime and some go to bed whenever they’re ready.

Parenting is already tricky enough. Comparing your parenting with that of other parents can make it even harder. There is always that temptation to look sideways and feel like you’re doing it wrong because someone else does it differently. Don’t fall into this comparison. Our homes can look different and still be doing it right.

The best thing we can do for our kids is parent with alignment to our values, not the world’s standards. In our house, that looks like parenting with kindness, honesty, and good health in mind.

Lesson 4: Experiences > things

I’ve seen such a huge impact on my children and our relationship with the shared moments we’ve had. From trips & hikes to family dinners, those moments have meant more to us all than any material gifts I’ve bought for them.

We’ve had some incredible experiences but what stands out the most wasn’t the money we spent but the laughter we shared, the hugs, and the connection to one another. This reminds me over and over that our kids might outgrow toys, but they’ll never outgrow memories of time spent together.

Lesson 5: Let them fail (and learn)

This is such a hard lesson I had to learn as a parent but one that has taught me and my children so much. Stepping back and letting your children fall, whether forgetting homework, losing a game, or struggling through a friendship, can be so tricky. The truth is, letting them fail teaches them how to handle disappointment and frustration and that builds resilience.

As much as I want to protect my children, I’ve learned that growth often comes through the struggle, not the safety net. Failure is a part of learning, not something to fix immediately.

If you’re in the thick of parenting, just know you’re doing better than you think. Just love them well, show up, and keep learning as you go.

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