So many women feel like they’re constantly behind… even when they’re doing so much. The pressure to “do it all” can be SO overwhelming. But listen, this isn’t your fault. Most of the time, we feel this pressure without even realizing what it is. 

The truth is, the pressure to do it all is learned, it’s loud, and it’s not telling the truth. When we look at the world and see what everyone else is seemingly doing (although we only see the good and it looks to be a lot), it can be like a screaming child telling us we need to do more. That if we don’t do more, we’ve somehow failed. That’s not the truth.

I don’t want you to live with the pressure to “do it all”. That said, this isn’t about lowering your standards or quitting. It’s about choosing what actually matters in this season.

Where the “do it all” pressure comes from

There are a few places this pressure comes from. Cultural expectations seem to be the main ones, especially for me. As women and moms, we fall into the expectations that we have to do it all. There’s no other way. This comes from comparison… even when it’s a subtle comparison. 

Sometimes our internalized beliefs put this pressure on us. Things like “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done right” or “I should be able to handle this”. These thoughts quietly allow pressure to sneak in. This isn’t a personal failure. It’s a system women have learned to live inside.

Why trying to “do it all” is costing you more than you think

Do you know what this is costing you? It’s actually eye-opening when you look at it from a wider lens.

• Emotional costs: You feel constant tension, but often don’t understand why. You might have some low-level resentment that you have to do it all or even feel disconnected from yourself. 
• Mental costs: A lot of us feel decision fatigue and never really feel “caught up”. Always feeling behind or like there is more can be a heavy mental load.
• Relational costs: When you continue trying to do it all, you’ll deal with less presence and less patience. 

Doing it all doesn’t make you stronger; it just makes you tired.

What it looks like to step out of the lie

When you step out of the lie of doing it all, you’re going to redefine your strength. In this case, strength equals discernment, not endurance. Along with that, you’ll introduce the idea of capacity and honoring that is leadership, not weakness.

Start by reframing:

• What actually needs my energy right now? Remember, not everything has to happen right now. Do just what you have the energy for, that is important at this moment. 
• What can be good enough? Let go of perfection. Good enough is good enough.
• What am I holding just because I always have? You don’t have to have a full plate all the time. Just because you’ve been doing it all doesn’t mean you have to forever (and you shouldn’t). Think about the things you can hand off.

You’re allowed to choose fewer things. You’re allowed to change your mind. I want to encourage you to identify one area where you’re trying to do too much. Ask yourself what it would look like to release pressure there. 

And remember, this doesn’t mean you’re falling behind. You’re becoming more intentional. You don’t need to do it all to be doing enough.

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