We live in a world that avoids hard at all costs. It’s ingrained in us. We have grown up thinking, and still think, that if it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient, then something must be wrong. This shows up in many areas of life… relationships, health and fitness, career growth, and personal growth and boundaries. It’s everywhere. Hard isn’t a sign that you’re failing. In fact, it’s often a sign that you are growing. The problem is not that life is hard; it’s that we expect it not to be. But what happens when you choose hard on purpose?

Why we run from hard things

No one likes hard. It doesn’t feel good. But hard is where we get results. So why do we avoid hard?

• We want fast results
• We’re afraid of failing or looking foolish
• We confuse discomfort with danger
• We’ve been told we deserve ease all the time

So we avoid. If we can’t get those things without it being hard, we avoid it. But avoidance costs you even more. For me, it was always regret. I knew I needed to do the hard thing and didn’t. Then time passed and I regretted that I didn’t just do it. This leads to a lack of trust in ourselves. We don’t believe in ourselves to follow through, and we end up constantly starting over. Avoiding hard doesn’t protect you; it keeps you stuck.

What choosing hard actually looks like

Let’s break this down into different categories: health, relationships, and personally.

In health, choosing hard looks like showing up when motivation is gone, eating in a way that supports your body, not just your cravings, and moving your body even when it’s inconvenient. When it comes to relationships, hard looks like having honest conversations, setting boundaries and sticking to them, and staying when it would be easier to shut down. Whether it’s a friendship, marriage, or work relationship, these things are hard. Choosing hard personally looks like keeping commitments to yourself, being proactive instead of reactive, and doing the boring, unglamorous work. Again, these are all things that feel hard. Hard doesn’t mean miserable; it means intentional.

What happens when you choose hard on purpose

Choosing hard on purpose brings many great things to your life.

• You build self-trust. Every time you follow through, you prove something to yourself. 
• Your tolerance for discomfort increases. Life feels more manageable because you are stronger.
• Your standards rise for your health, relationships, time, and energy.
• You stop needing constant motivation. This means discipline becomes normal and confidence becomes quiet and steady.

Hard now creates ease later. Easy now creates hard later.

The question that changes everything

“What is the hard thing I keep avoiding and what would happen if I chose it on purpose?” Examples of this could be: waking up earlier to move your body, having the conversation you’ve been rehearsing for months, or committing to something for 30 days without quitting. Truth is, you already know what it is.

You are capable of hard things. In fact, you’ve already survived hard things. Waiting for it to feel easy is what’s keeping you stuck. Your future self is begging you not to quit right now. Hard isn’t the enemy; avoidance is.

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