As I sat down to write this blog post, my heart was heavy and my eyes were filled with tears. If you have been or currently are in a season where you have waited for the Lord to show up in big ways, my prayer is that this would be an encouragement for you. Let’s just be honest right from the start; waiting is HARD. For my family, we have been in a season of waiting regarding the adoption of our daughter. I tell people all the time--I thought once we had our child home, the waiting would be over. I knew the hard wouldn’t be over but I thought the waiting would end. Here we are, 19 months later, still waiting.
I’m not going to get into the trenches about our adoption journey but I wanted to write about the waiting because I think it’s important. As much hurt, confusion, and pain it has brought us, it has taught me more than I ever thought possible. When I think about waiting, I think about the wilderness season that Jesus experienced. After Jesus was baptized, He spent 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness, tempted by Satan. It has encouraged me in my waiting.
Jesus experienced the waiting. He experienced the wilderness. He experienced what it meant to trust and persevere. The same things He has been teaching me during the past 3 years of this adoption journey are not lost on Him. Sometimes, I only think of Jesus as the PERFECT and HOLY person that He is but I have to remind myself that he endured A LOT. Although He lived a perfect life here on earth, it didn’t mean there weren’t times of difficulty.
The waiting has shown me the deep love of my Father through completely different eyes. My fear and anxiety in the waiting are not too much of a burden for the Lord to carry. These feelings of doubt and uncertainty don’t scare Him. He loves me so much that He sacrificed His ONLY Son. For me. That even today, He carries my burdens when they are too much for me to carry on my own. And He doesn’t just do it because He has to do it. He does it because He wants to carry my burdens. Because He loves me that much.
So, as we continue to walk this road of uncertainty with our sweet girl, we will continue to carry this for her. We will remember what the Scripture tells us in Isaiah 40:31, “but those who trust in the LORD will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not become weary, they will walk and not faint.”
We serve a God who brings light that the shadows can’t deny, who makes darkness tremble, and silences fear. He walks with us as we are in the season of waiting and unknown. He holds us up when we are fighting off the lies where Satan tries to entangle us. He stands in the gap for us when it’s hard to stand. He hears our cries and in His perfect timing will deliver us. Hold on to that truth. He sees you. He loves you. He is holding on to you.