The holidays can bring so much joy, but they can also stir up feelings of loneliness or comparison, especially if you’re walking through this season single. In a chat with my friend, Sarah, we explored navigating the holidays when you’re single.

How has being single during the holidays changed as you’ve moved from your 20s to 30s?

Sarah said that in her 20s it was different because people were just getting married and her brothers were single, so they were in it together. An exciting part of her 20s during the holidays was coming home and having everybody be excited she’s there.

The older she’s gotten, the harder it has gotten. She’s wondered if being in a relationship will happen for her. She’s also feeling really behind when the holidays come. It also looks different because her family doesn’t celebrate Christmas Day on Christmas Day anymore because it’s easier for her brother’s with their families.

What has been the hardest part about navigating the holidays being single?

To Sarah, the hardest part has been wondering where she belongs. With holidays being about bringing the family together, it’s been really hard to wonder ‘What is my family?’ Also, it’s been hard from a romantic side – sipping coffee while watching Christmas movies with someone you love. Even as she has watched her brothers have traditions with their families and Sarah thinks about the things she would love to implement in her life.

What has brought you joy in this season of singleness during the holidays?

Sarah said that she forgets the gifts of singleness. The simple mornings where she can work out, do red light therapy, and have coffee before 9:00 am. Some of those things, people married and with children don’t get to enjoy like I do. Another thing is that Sarah doesn’t feel stressed during holidays, she feels peace with the slowness. 

The other thing she finds joy in is the time she has during the holidays. Lingering while she’s shopping and leaving gifts and wrapping paper wherever she wants has brought her joy. 

On top of that, Sarah loves the ability to travel during the holiday season. Having the money & time flexibility to travel whenever she wants has been a source of joy.

How can we support single friends?

There are many small, meaningful ways that we can make our single friends feel important. For Sarah, she said, being invited to places, parties, and even going out with families. Also, having a girls’ group. She said it’s fun to have just a girl group to do fun things. For her family, they’ve created traditions around making sure Sarah is included, her favorite being a girls’ outing to The Nutcracker.

If you’re going into the holidays single, you’re not alone. I hope this helped you feel seen and maybe gave some people ideas to help the single friends in their lives feel included and important.

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Journal Prompts For The Holiday Season: HERE

The Power Of Words And What That Means For Us: HERE